yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
