McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
