She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
