? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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