you traded sex for a burrito?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize