The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
