Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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