We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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