Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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