She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
