We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
