Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
