my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
