yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
do herpes really smell.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
