oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
