smell my finger.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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