OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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