Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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