I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's never too late to be topless.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
