If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
