who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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