I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
