haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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