He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
