Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
