I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
