oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
