porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
