so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
