8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
