feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
