We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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