How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
