I hate all girls vehemently.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
