my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
