I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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