I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize