what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
