Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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