I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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