guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
