You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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