Porn is love you can see.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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