You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wish I only lived at night.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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