Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
