you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
