I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
