What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
