You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize