Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
These tits shall not be calmed
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
