69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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