he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
