Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
be right there i have to get my cape
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
