My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
