Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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