'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
