What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Drake has all the answers
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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