By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
