Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
