you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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