That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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