Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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