btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
