If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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