so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We are two peas in an std pod
God gave him joint rollers for hands
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
