Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
