I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
