I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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