remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
His nipple licking is glorious
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
