I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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