She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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