sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
